I was watching Journey 2 last night, and <Spoiler Alert> it shows you a herd of miniature elephants, which I must say has always been a personal dream of mine, and then drowns them all – I don’t think I have ever missed something that didn’t exist more; unless maybe it was just having some hang time with Chewbacca.
It made me wonder though; what other cool things that don’t exist are out there? So I made a list:
My dream team of coffee companions would have to be Hemingway, Van Gogh, Jessica Rabbit, one of Dali’s giraffes on fire, and Steve McQueen… or the Fonz if Steve is busy.
Favorite book never written is – ‘Dark Black: The lighter side of Russian Literature’
Favorite live show never made – ‘Muppets on Fire’ (Everything is ‘on ice’ these days – I think it’s time to mix it up. Just think if it worked out then ‘Disney on Fire’ would be soon to follow, I’m not sure that the smell of burnt mouse would be pleasant, but I’d sure buy a ticket.
Favorite food never invented – Elvis Presley’s Revenge Double Decker (All the sweet chocolaty, peanut buttery, and banana goodness of my original concoction, but now with one on top of the other – If I could just put it on a stick then I’d really have something; everything is better on a stick.)
Favorite band never formed – Bone Monkey (while their rhythm section has much to be desired they more than make up for it with their cool t-shirt designs)
Favorite exploitation film genre never created – ‘Wookiesploitaion’
Favorite Documentary never made – ‘Ken Burns on Ken Burns; a Ken Burns Production’ (This would differ from his usual documentaries in that it would only be 30 hours long.)
Favorite made up Scientific theory – Transporter theory as taught by the esteemed professor Olafson at Star Fleet Academy in the mid 24th century… heady times to be sure; oh, to be a holographic fly on that wall!
Favorite Artist never to exist – ‘Bob Middlestein’ (Created amazing expansive canvases in his mind alone never bothering to lift a brush – actually that kind of describes a lot of artists I know… hmmm.)
Favorite Technical Writer never to exist – ‘Thomas Jorgan’ writer of the ‘How to put the IKEA Loveseat Model# 2347653 together in 31 Steps.’ The writing is complete gibberish, but the punctuation is so masterful you hardly even notice.
Enough make believe for now; I’m late for my session in the dreamatorium.